


ballad of hte gr8st autobutt ever

by sitronation (Nitrobot)



Category: Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Gen, Joke Fic, for the love of Primus don't take this seriously, pls gib me a job hasbruh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/sitronation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dis my first fic no falmes pls</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Windblade was of course the greatest autobot in the world. everyone knew it it was a confirm fact you looked up “greattest autobot” in iacon library and her picture was there and she looked the most beautiful of all (even prettier than arcee!!!) but then u had to leave cause alpha trion would get mad at u. But anwyay Primus himself choosed her for the most improtant mission in all he universe; stop a bad thing and get the best boyfriend ever. Of course she could do it easily because she was so amazing at everything and that was why when she come to earth every boy fall in love with her especially sideswipe because he was the hawtest and even optimus would have loved her if he was still alive but he was dead so that would be gross ew.  
so windblade use her special unique teleport powers to go to earth and then beat up sideswop because she neede to prove how amaze she was

“wow windblade!!! you are the hottest will u marry me” sideswipe saided with hearts all over his face even though he was all dusty and defeted but he was so in awe. Windblade was about to say yes when a wilde BUMBLEBE appear

“fuck off sideswipe i am leader so she will be mine” he cackle evilly. Windblade gasped this wasnt the first time two boys were fightign over here and she knew if she didnt stop this with her expert negotiation skilsl one of them might end up ugly with fight marks and that would ruin her wedding so much

“stop it you too im here with an impottant quest” she boomed, flying uop into the air with her uber majestic angel wings. Both boys looked on in awe she was the most beautiful creatre ever and she looked like a goddess glowing gold n sparkles and other anime shit

“i’m here to stop the evil BEEE threat” she announced dramatically, glowing rainbows as suddenly a magical girl outfit shimmerred into view. the boys didn’t think she could be even more beautiful but it happen

“what what did i do” bumblebe asked while crying becuse he was not evil bee what are these lies

“not you bee i mean the ugly ones” windblade said soothignly. Suddenly a huge bee robot showed up behind them

“AAAH SO YOU SHOW UR FACE!!! THE MOST FAMOUS AUTOBOT IN THE GLALAXY” the bot buzzed badly, becasuse she was a bad

“yes i am here to destroy u and protect this world because i am sailor moon as well!!!” Windblade announced, flying over to here and activaitng her mega charged laser power that only hokage senpais like here could do. it took the bee thingy out in one hit and she exploded

“you did it windblaed we all knew u could!” the boys cheered

“aw thank u but it was least i could do for such hot guys” she blushed seductapeively, fluttering her eylashes (note: wandblade has eyelashses bc she is secretly part human but that is super secret plot twist shhhh). Sideswap smirked at her so sexily, oh man she really wanted to kiss him!!! but she had to go and do more awesome things, she would keep him waiting and wanting her more. with her work done Windblade flew up into the air to return to cybertron......

but then strongarm and actually decent comic windblade show up and killded her dead the end


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our stunning hero Wandblad returns!!!! To foil the evil that is Nandos and Steeljaw's crippling insecurity

Wandblade stirred beneth the pile of rubble n scratched metal and robo guts and said "ew". Yes she was still alive... for she is invicible and amaze and bc good writing is hard. She stood up abd gaped because her magic dress was ruined!!! That clone and strongarm would pay... for a new one, she thought to herself. Now sideswip would never lub her, and she would never reveal her terrible secret tto anyone.... (ps its that shes part human remember)

powered by fury and doritos windbang soared up and instantly fond her enemeies w super special sonar powers.  
"STRINGARM" she yelled, and strongarm turned 2 face her

"Oh what the hell do you want now you absolute glittercunt" strongarm groan

"I AM HERE TO DESTOY YOUR FACE"

"Why?"

"I DONT LIKE IT"

"Well ur no fuckin prize either m8"

"ALSO U KILLED MY MUM PROBABLY"

Drifr came up to yell "SHUT THE UP MY BABIES ARE TRYIN TO SLEEP"

while they had the greatest discourse of all time the real windblade snuck up behid the badblade and yelled "LET IT RIP" before pullin her wings off (I bet she practiced on butterfiles first that sick fuck)

The Cool Windblade™ screeched n yell because "MUH WIIIIIIINGS!!!" and she was bleeding al over the floor and it looked like thered been a blueberry orgy and who the fuck was gonna clean that up cause the janitor was on strike and i aint touchin that no thank u madame siree

Strongarm turned to Attack of the Clonesblade while Flying Without Wingsblade was having a panic attack to rival a teenager on tumblr. "hey that reminds me lets go for chicken wings at nandos after this" she said.

"NANDOS IS OVERPRICED AS FUCK ILL KILL U" Wind Beneath My Wingsblade screeched all banshee like and everyones optics cracked bc she gotta be dramatic like that and shit. But before she could exact her reveng and Avengers: Age of Ultron her fallen brethern, there was a howl n a shake and a razzle dazzle as something appeared from the Woods.

It was...... STEELJAW

"get your fucking furry boyfriend away from me hes got rabies" strongarm yelled.

Steeljaw growld, "IM NOT FURRY IM OTHERKIN"

"thats even worse jfc"

"also im not a boy i am a proud demigirl and-" he got absolutely decked before he could finish waht the fuck was he even saying, and ended up flyin up in the air which made wangbold hella jelous cause she cant do that no more :'(

"DONATE TO MY PAYPAAAAL" was his last words rip in peace furry maniac 2015-2016

"Right where was I" wandleboodle said as she got over the wing thing. "AH YES, TO RECLAIM MY POSITION AS QUEEN OF THE SUESY MOOS"

"did you just fuckin admit youre a goddamn mary sue" strongarm asked

"Noooo im a Suesy Moo theyre completely different are u deaf or something"

"Listen here you mangled poorly designed excuse for a coffee machine I can say my ass is made out of Ben and Jerrys ice cream and that James Roberts a competent writer but that doesnt make it true cause i dont go on a booty binge every time I have to see ultra magnus reduced to one of santa's fucking elves with a mOUSTACHE" strongarm screech

"A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK" rodimoose prime called from somewhere in Bad Comic Hell

"Well shit u got me there frendo" Windblade said, shruggin her empty shoulders as she was ready to surrdnder and lay down her arms- BUT THEN

Steeljaw was there again cause he cant take a hint and was trying to stab her with his wolverine claws. Rude.

Thunderhoof thought so as well cause he came all the way out from his stag party to tell him off "STEELJOW U CANT JUST GO AROUND STABBING PEOPLE"

"WHY THE FUCK NOT"

"IT HURTS THEIR FEELINGS AND ALSO THEIR ORGANS"  
"Oh no" steeljaw gaspd bc hurt feelings are the Worst Possible thing. Then he turnd to the girls and said "Im so sorry pls forgive"

"Fine whatever dude" strongarm sighed

" DONT FUCKING MSISGENDER ME I KNOW WHERE U LIVE"

Then Sideswipe showred up and looked a bit confused because two Wangboulders were staring at him and his dildo head but he quickly recolvered to say "Obi Wand Kenoblade i have a terrible secret to confess"

"I do as well my Love" Cloneblade said, ignoring a screech from Strangearm. "I am actually....... PART HOOMAN!" she said dramatically

"oh ok mines was that i got two dicks"

"Wtf the fuck"

Will our stunning and brave diversity of heros escape this hell and save the day???

No

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this fic or would like to send colourful death threats to the author, please contact the following number:
> 
> 1800-T00-B4D-M8


End file.
